I went out to the store a couple hours ago because I was out of food (seriously, this stupid app that makes me eat more is busting the bank now) and while selecting some brussels sprouts from the produce area a middle aged dude who worked there tried about four or five times to strike up a conversation with me.
His final attempt went like this:
“Are you shopping after school?”
“No, I got hungry. Eventually the food runs out and you have to go to a place like this to get more.”
“It just looked like you were shopping after school.”
I hold up a sprout and look at it. Eyebrow raised. Sprouts are not for kids you know.
“I am much too old for that.”
“I – I – I meant college.” At this point I think he realized he was in way over his head.
“Ok. Thanks. Well, you have a nice day.”
“Thank you.” I find thanking people randomly confuses them enough I can make my escape.
I almost immediately call my sister on the phone and tell her the description of the dude just in case I go missing. Sadly I do this fairly often. Can’t resist a girl shifting through the bin of brussels sprouts I guess. Not as bad as the guy who stalked me at Walmart a couple years ago who kept complementing my jacket and following me around the store with a guitar strapped to his back, but right up there.