Favorite literary quotes:

“And can a magician kill a man by magic?” the Duke had asked. And he had answered, “A magician might, but a gentleman never could.”
Susanna Clarke, Jonathan Strange and Mr Norrell

“First of all, we are all time travelers. The vast majority of us manage only one day per day. Now if we accelerate ourselves like so-”
Jasper Fforde, Lost in a Good Book

“For animals, the entire universe has been neatly divided into things to (a)mate with, (b)eat, (c)run away from, and (d)rocks.”
Terry Pratchett, Equal Rites

“It shows something, though: if you’re going to be soulless, you should at least consider outsourcing your conscience to someone else.”
Josh Bazell, Beat the Reaper

“I am a kind of paranoiac in reverse. I suspect people of plotting to make me happy.”
J. D. Salinger, Raise High the Roof Beams, Carpenters

Favorite TV Quotes:
“What you did was thoughtless, reckless, dimwitted, unprofessional…” Veronica yelled at us for half an hour. Finally, she ran out of adjectives. And was done – “…vertical and lactose intolerant.”
– Better Off Ted

“I always thought Veronica lives here.” “Me too.” “She just finds a comfortable chair and *whirrr* powers down for the night.”
– Phil and Lem,  Better Off Ted

“I can’t stand that Veronica makes fun of me in meetings. If the boss doesn’t respect me, other people won’t. Including the little Linda in my head. And even on a good day, that little bitch won’t shut up.”
– Linda, Better Off Ted

“Anyway, it’s really quite simple. You take a person’s most marked physical feature, compare it to genitalia–male, female, or animal–and end with the suffix “-bag,” “-wipe”, or “-muncher.”” Phil
“You could also add an optional reference to excretion from any of the glorious openings offered by the human body.”
-Lem, Better Off Ted

“Oh, my God. Maybe we’re evil scientists.”
“(laughs manically) I’m sorry. I laugh like that when faced with an unpleasant truth. That’s why I got thrown out of that Al Gore movie.”
-Lem and Phil, Better Off Ted

“I will bring Sasuke back for sure. This is a promise of a lifetime.”
– Naruto

“There’s some milk in the fridge that is about to go bad….and there it goes.”
“There are 96 ridges on every checker…except this one”
– Bobby Hill (From that episode of King of the Hill where he takes A.D.D. meds and gets super smart.)